The waiting and wondering is over; Monday was the day we, as a family, finally found out what the diagnosis and prognosis was, and what course the treatment plan will take. I was not able to go with my sister and her husband (and rightly so ... dang it), so I tried to keep busy with entertaining my grandson since he was home from school due to this day being a holiday. Sitting on pins and needles is not my forte - I don't do it well. I did not know anything until they finally came home in the early part of the afternoon.
Her diagnosis is: Stage IV, Diffuse Large B-Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She has cancer in the lymph nodes of her neck, abdominal cavity, and bone marrow of her hips and legs. (My chin drops to the driveway and all sorts of stuff is now going through my head.) Prognosis: this cancer is treatable. Her oncologist has a positive outlook as to her treatment, and did not mention what the chances of survival are for this type of cancer. She will get bombarded with 4 different types of chemo every 3 weeks for a total of 6 treatments. Guess I need to break out my knitting needles because she will need a warm hat for her balding head. :-)
We still don't know know why the biopsies were sent to the May Clinic because little sister forgot to ask, and so did Mr. Little Sister. She is still treating all of this new information as if she is being told has a hang nail. She still amazes me.
Once the diagnosis was given, things moved quickly. Her Mediport was installed in her upper left chest area on Thursday, her PET scan was scheduled for the following week, and treatment was to start the very next Monday after the PET scan. We got to see up-close-and-personal how an insurance company works because they dragged their feet on approving the PET scan in the first place. Why did they approve the insertion of the Mediport, but have a problem with the PET scan? I guess we will never know.
In the meantime, while waiting for the insurance company to get off their behinds, I watched my sister begin to fade as each day passed, Her pain was increasing, and her energy level was decreasing at a rapid pace. What bothered me the most is that there was nothing I could do for her, especially since she warned all of us to stop hovering; she was not an invalid. So much like her father, that one! Gotta love her.
Now we wait until Monday for the results of the PET and the start of her first treatment so that she can travel the road to recovery.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Week 3
Before going any further, I need to back up to the first week in order to set the stage for this week. On her last day of her hospital stay, which was October 1, 2010, my sister had a bone marrow biopsy procedure in the morning, and a lymph node removed from her neck in the afternoon. So, this week was all about waiting for the oncologist's office to call with either the results of the biopsies or an appointment to get the results and a treatment plan of action.
My sister enjoyed being able to stay home this week. In fact, she felt she was on vacation instead of being unemployed for the first time in umpteen years. The only time she was agitated was when she was waiting for a return call from the oncologist, which finally arrived on Thursday afternoon. She was informed that the oncologist was waiting for the results to arrive from the Mayo Clinic, however she was to meet with him the following Monday morning to discuss everything. So ... waiting and wondering about the biopsies was replaced with waiting and wondering why the biopsies were sent to the Mayo Clinic. Lions ... and tigers ... and bears!! Oh My!!!
In the meantime, my soldier nephew - who had not spoken to his mother since the incident between me and his wife and her "hurt" feelings - finally called his mother; under the pretext of wondering why she had a minute negative balance in her checking account (she is on his account at the same bank as her own checking account). In reality, he didn't call out of concern for his mother; he only called because he and wife ran out of money and needed "borrow" money from his parents to buy either gas or cigarettes. REALLY NOW!!!
My sister enjoyed being able to stay home this week. In fact, she felt she was on vacation instead of being unemployed for the first time in umpteen years. The only time she was agitated was when she was waiting for a return call from the oncologist, which finally arrived on Thursday afternoon. She was informed that the oncologist was waiting for the results to arrive from the Mayo Clinic, however she was to meet with him the following Monday morning to discuss everything. So ... waiting and wondering about the biopsies was replaced with waiting and wondering why the biopsies were sent to the Mayo Clinic. Lions ... and tigers ... and bears!! Oh My!!!
In the meantime, my soldier nephew - who had not spoken to his mother since the incident between me and his wife and her "hurt" feelings - finally called his mother; under the pretext of wondering why she had a minute negative balance in her checking account (she is on his account at the same bank as her own checking account). In reality, he didn't call out of concern for his mother; he only called because he and wife ran out of money and needed "borrow" money from his parents to buy either gas or cigarettes. REALLY NOW!!!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Week 2
Week 2 was uneventful except that my sister did return to her job as a manger for a Big Apple store with a doctor's note in hand as required. However, a day and a half later management let her go for an incident that had occurred 4 weeks prior. “Really now!?!” as she would say. Imagine the devastation and betrayal she must have felt, especially knowing that she gave the company 150%. She was constantly on-call to the point where she always put aside her own personal life for the sake of this company, and this is how they reward loyalty by letting a recently diagnosed cancer patient go?
Her world came crashing down around her on this day. Thoughts of how to help her husband pay the bills and support their only grandchild of whom they have custody, of how to pay the monthly rent to the landlord (me), of how to search for another place to live before my move to Michigan at the beginning of December, and last but certainly not least ... of how to pay for the soon to be massive hospitals bills went swirling through her head. She crawled into her bed and cried on this day - something my baby sister never does, not even when our mother and her father passed away from their individual battles with cancer.
A couple of weeks have passed since Armageddon. My sister has decided that there is nothing within her power that she can do to change her financial situation, so she is letting go of the employment past and moving on with doing the best she can do to increase her odds of survival. Atta girl! That’s what mom would want you to do!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Week 1
10/01/2010
I am new at the blog-writing stuff, but I thought I would try my hand at it after trying to deal with a certain person last night regarding a conversation with a newly diagnosed cancer patient, and have this same person not listen to - or honor - the wishes of said cancer patient. This patient being my youngest sister who is only 47 years of age.
This whole story started a couple of weeks ago when my sister began complaining that her back hurt near the left kidney area. The pain was to the point that she made an appointment to see a doctor. My sister went to see a doctor!?! Lions, and tigers, and bears … oh my!!!! She does not like doctors. She avoids doctors and dentists like the plague! It was then I knew that what ever was bothering her had to be drastic. Well … the doctor said she could feel my sister’s kidney and spleen – something she should not be able to do. Fast forward a couple of weeks and take a journey to the emergency room of the local hospital because the pain in her back is excruciating.
This wonderful lady has a strong will – not to mention that she is extremely stubborn and has been since the day she was born. I marvel at her reaction when she was informed by an ER doc that all of the tests that were run that night pointed to lymphoma, and the pain that she was experiencing was due to the spleen being extremely enlarged to the point that it was pushing on all of the organs (especially the kidney) in that region. An operation was out of the question because the spleen was too fragile. In my opinion, she treated this piece of news as if she was told she has a hang nail. Amazing ... simply amazing. So, admitted to the hospital she was for further tests.
After a tissue biopsy was performed a couple of days after admission to the hospital, my sister was told yesterday that she has Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It could be worse in that she could have been told it was one of the other two types the doctors thought she might have: sarcoma or melanoma. Yikes!! And I thought the sound of colon cancer was awful!! According to her doctors, better to have this type of cancer than the other two previously mentioned because it is more treatable. Yeah …but...
I remember losing a mother to colon cancer at the age of 51, and a step-father (sister’s father) to lung cancer at the age of 65. I keep thinking, “Did she not hear what the doctors said?” Right now, God love her, she is barking orders from her hospital bed. She is demanding without being mean about it, except not demanding when it comes to what her adult children want (so unlike what I think I would do). Even though she is tired and wants to rest, she will not tell people to go home and let her have some peace. She will not turn her phone off when she doesn’t feel up to talking to anyone. She keeps telling everyone that she is fine, and she very well may be even though everyone else is inwardly falling apart. She is allowing things to take place around her that she would otherwise not tolerate or let slide outside of the walls of the hospital. Why?? I have to wonder.
Given all of this, why would anyone (who supposedly knows her well) continually ask her if she is going to die? A question posed to her repeatedly by her son’s wife via a phone call from out of state – even after my sister asked her to stop. Why would anyone not think a question such as this is pure torture to the newly diagnosed cancer patient? This same person wants to spend money that she and her soldier do not have right now to hop on a plane – even after being told not to … “not right now … [stay where you are] I AM FINE!!!” I can understand where they are coming from in wanting to be with her because I would want to be near my mother too (Oh wait … I was! I was one of the major caregivers during our mom’s brief 18-month battle with colon cancer). However, now is not the time to be disrupting anyone’s life, especially that of the cancer patient. A concept that I nicely tried to point out to my nephew’s wife – honor the wishes of your mother-in-law; keep everything status quo. She if she doesn’t want you to get on a plane at this point in time – don’t. If she asks you to stop asking her about whether or not she is dying – do so.
Well, that went over like a lead balloon (I guess I should have had a V-8). She even had the nerve to bother my nephew while he is on field maneuvers to complain that I was saying mean, hateful things to her via email. C’mon now. Asking politely for someone to stop asking, “are you going to die?” because you can see that it is physically upsetting to another individual is mean and hateful? Not in my book.
Thanks to my nephew’s wife, he no longer wants anything to do with his aunt; I am no longer considered a part of his family. I refuse to get upset or lose sleep over this type of childish behavior. After all, I lost a mother - who was also my very best friend - to cancer. I think I do know what I am talking about. And, yes, nephew’s wife … I did research what type of cancer my sister has been diagnosed with, and I do know what to expect, and what type of care is required. Been there...done that ... from the beginning diagnosis, through the chemo and radiation, the loss of hair and appetite, the constant dehydration, and finally the eventual loss of my best friend and mother ... I do know what cancer does to all involved. You are not the only one in this world that has been touched by cancer in one form or another! And you, dear nephew, want to be petty about feelings that may or may not be hurt without the benefit of knowing both sides of the story? SERIOUSLY!?!
So … readers, I ask for your opinion in this matter. Should the wishes of my sister be honored? Does she not have the right to say what happens in her life from this point forward? Or … am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?
I am new at the blog-writing stuff, but I thought I would try my hand at it after trying to deal with a certain person last night regarding a conversation with a newly diagnosed cancer patient, and have this same person not listen to - or honor - the wishes of said cancer patient. This patient being my youngest sister who is only 47 years of age.
This whole story started a couple of weeks ago when my sister began complaining that her back hurt near the left kidney area. The pain was to the point that she made an appointment to see a doctor. My sister went to see a doctor!?! Lions, and tigers, and bears … oh my!!!! She does not like doctors. She avoids doctors and dentists like the plague! It was then I knew that what ever was bothering her had to be drastic. Well … the doctor said she could feel my sister’s kidney and spleen – something she should not be able to do. Fast forward a couple of weeks and take a journey to the emergency room of the local hospital because the pain in her back is excruciating.
This wonderful lady has a strong will – not to mention that she is extremely stubborn and has been since the day she was born. I marvel at her reaction when she was informed by an ER doc that all of the tests that were run that night pointed to lymphoma, and the pain that she was experiencing was due to the spleen being extremely enlarged to the point that it was pushing on all of the organs (especially the kidney) in that region. An operation was out of the question because the spleen was too fragile. In my opinion, she treated this piece of news as if she was told she has a hang nail. Amazing ... simply amazing. So, admitted to the hospital she was for further tests.
After a tissue biopsy was performed a couple of days after admission to the hospital, my sister was told yesterday that she has Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It could be worse in that she could have been told it was one of the other two types the doctors thought she might have: sarcoma or melanoma. Yikes!! And I thought the sound of colon cancer was awful!! According to her doctors, better to have this type of cancer than the other two previously mentioned because it is more treatable. Yeah …but...
I remember losing a mother to colon cancer at the age of 51, and a step-father (sister’s father) to lung cancer at the age of 65. I keep thinking, “Did she not hear what the doctors said?” Right now, God love her, she is barking orders from her hospital bed. She is demanding without being mean about it, except not demanding when it comes to what her adult children want (so unlike what I think I would do). Even though she is tired and wants to rest, she will not tell people to go home and let her have some peace. She will not turn her phone off when she doesn’t feel up to talking to anyone. She keeps telling everyone that she is fine, and she very well may be even though everyone else is inwardly falling apart. She is allowing things to take place around her that she would otherwise not tolerate or let slide outside of the walls of the hospital. Why?? I have to wonder.
Given all of this, why would anyone (who supposedly knows her well) continually ask her if she is going to die? A question posed to her repeatedly by her son’s wife via a phone call from out of state – even after my sister asked her to stop. Why would anyone not think a question such as this is pure torture to the newly diagnosed cancer patient? This same person wants to spend money that she and her soldier do not have right now to hop on a plane – even after being told not to … “not right now … [stay where you are] I AM FINE!!!” I can understand where they are coming from in wanting to be with her because I would want to be near my mother too (Oh wait … I was! I was one of the major caregivers during our mom’s brief 18-month battle with colon cancer). However, now is not the time to be disrupting anyone’s life, especially that of the cancer patient. A concept that I nicely tried to point out to my nephew’s wife – honor the wishes of your mother-in-law; keep everything status quo. She if she doesn’t want you to get on a plane at this point in time – don’t. If she asks you to stop asking her about whether or not she is dying – do so.
Well, that went over like a lead balloon (I guess I should have had a V-8). She even had the nerve to bother my nephew while he is on field maneuvers to complain that I was saying mean, hateful things to her via email. C’mon now. Asking politely for someone to stop asking, “are you going to die?” because you can see that it is physically upsetting to another individual is mean and hateful? Not in my book.
Thanks to my nephew’s wife, he no longer wants anything to do with his aunt; I am no longer considered a part of his family. I refuse to get upset or lose sleep over this type of childish behavior. After all, I lost a mother - who was also my very best friend - to cancer. I think I do know what I am talking about. And, yes, nephew’s wife … I did research what type of cancer my sister has been diagnosed with, and I do know what to expect, and what type of care is required. Been there...done that ... from the beginning diagnosis, through the chemo and radiation, the loss of hair and appetite, the constant dehydration, and finally the eventual loss of my best friend and mother ... I do know what cancer does to all involved. You are not the only one in this world that has been touched by cancer in one form or another! And you, dear nephew, want to be petty about feelings that may or may not be hurt without the benefit of knowing both sides of the story? SERIOUSLY!?!
So … readers, I ask for your opinion in this matter. Should the wishes of my sister be honored? Does she not have the right to say what happens in her life from this point forward? Or … am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?
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