Week 10

Here we are at the end of another term.  Where did the time go?

My sister had to have a CT on Tuesday to determine whether or not the chemo treatments are doing their job.  She called me yesterday with the results.  Get ready to do the "Happy Dance" because her spleen is almost back to its normal size, the huge mass at the end of her thoracic duct is gone, and the cancer in her lymph nodes is dissipating.  Her husband's comment (once they left the building) was, "I just got my Christmas present."  How sweet.  Brings tears to one's eyes, doesn't it?  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Now I don't feel so guilty about leaving her.  As my Anatomy & Physiology II Professor stated earlier, "It's not a death sentence." Boy! It sure did feel like one in the beginning.

Have a Merry Christmas and Happier New Yer, everyone.  I hope we all continue our blogs.

Week 9

Well ... the move to from Maine to Michigan is finally done.  The trip was long, and a bit on the stressful side, but Gabriel, the kitties, the dog, and I are safe.  Although, we have to share my son's already cramped little house until I can evict the person who is trespassing in my mobile home.  One set of stressors has been replaced with another.

Little sister got a surprise on Monday when she visited her cancer doctor for what she thought was a routine checkup ... she had to undergo another round of treatments.  At least this time, she didn't get as sick as she usually does.  Maybe she is finally starting to realize that she MUST follow doctor's orders.  What a concept!!

In the meantime, I am feeling extremely guilty about leaving her in her hour of need even though she repeatedly told me that moving would be in my best interest.  Time will tell.

Week 8

Seriously!?!  Week 8 already?  Where did the time go?

My sister is gaining ground day by day this week.  She actually managed to get out of bed Tuesday and get dressed.  This round of treatments really kicked her behind; complete with sores in her mouth, and a raw tongue and throat - all of which are much better.  Today, she actually ate food.  In fact, her appetite was insatiable.  I hope she continues to eat voraciously ... maybe she will gain back the weight she has lost since this treatment and the last one.  I will wager than she is 95 lbs soaking wet, and she started out at 112.  It kills me to watch her suffer, especially when I look at her and see our mother during her battle with colon cancer.  Breaks my heart.  (I miss you so much, Mom.)

My heart is also breaking because I will not be around to make sure she drinks enough liquid, takes her medicine when and how she is supposed to, eats properly, and above all get rest because I am packing up the contents of my house to move to Michigan to live closer to my son (this is his idea, and my sister is demanding that I go).  I will be worrying on a daily basis that her immediately family - hubby and daughters - will stay on top of things.  Lord knows, they are not doing that now.  Heck!  They won't even make sure to cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough around her.  Don't they realize that she now has ZERO immune system.  She can't fight even the weakest of viral or bacterial infections!!!

On a different note, even though I am not looking forward to moving yet again, I am excited about today because my handsome, 6' 3-12" red-headed Irish boy's plane will be touching down at our local airport at 11:00 a.m - complete with his best friend in tow.  Oh Happy Day!!

Week 7

I feel so bad for my little sister (funny ... lol ... she's way taller than I am).  She had to be admitted to the hospital Monday for a special kind of chemo treatment that "protects" the cells in her brain just in case the lymphoma wants to run away from its attackers, and head for the hills (so to speak). 

Her treatment consisted of an infusion of Methotrexate Monday night, with the antodote, Leucovorin, given the next day.  I did do research into both so that I could better understand why and also so I could be aware of any side effects she might encounter.  In order to describe the exact workings of the Methotrexate to my reading audience, I would have to have a degree in chemistry - barring this, suffice it to say that this drug does as I explained above, however, it also causes toxic effects to the rapidly-dividing cells of bone marrow and gastrointestinal mucosa.  The Leocovorin is used as a "rescue"  treatment to put the much need folic acid back into the bone marrow and GI tract. 

My poor little Cancer Kid is having an extremely difficult time swallowing anything right now because her throat is raw.  We believe it is due to the treatment.  At least that is what we are hoping.  If not the case, her immune system is totally shot and she has one rip-roaring sore throat due to either a viral or a bacterial infection.  Why is it that no one (in her immediate family) will take steps to make sure she doesn't get their germs?  Am I the only who cares?

Weekk 6 - contnued

Will wonders never cease!  My soldier nephew's wife admitted - not in so many words - that I was right after all in trying to protect my sister from idiotic and hurtful questions.  AND ... she gave me my nephew's cell phone number!!  How absolutely awesome given that today is his 25th birthday.

Nephew's wife tried to protect my sister from undue emotional stress today (even from Texas) that was about to be brought on by sister's youngest daughter by telling the immature (can't write what I want to here) ... twenty-year old that she can't go around threatening to beat the crap out of people just because she doesn't like things that are being said - whether true or not.  "Just ignore it ... walk away..."  Did my niece do this?  NO!  She had the nerve to bring the fight - or try to - to my property ...  home to both my sister - the cellar dweller - and me.  I managed to head the other young females off at the pass (so to speak), but not before threats were made by these same females to come back to do harm to my niece.

After the other girls left - unwillingly I might add - the niece had such a loud, angry potty mouth toward her mother and me that my Cancer Kid got into her daughter's face and had a few words of her own.  OH ... MY ... GOD!!!  I have never, ever seen her stand up to one of her kids.  She has always just shrugged her shoulders and walked away.  Wah Hoo, Phyl!!  Way to get some backbone!!!  You are finally taking lessons from me!  (Too bad it took cancer and chemo to bring you to this point.)  I will not tolerate being disrespected by my kids ... I don't care how old they are, and I don't care if I am right or wrong.  I will not tolerate being screamed at or sworn at by the individuals that I brought into this world!  I always reminded them that I brought them in ... I could take them out.  They knew I wouldn't really do it, but they also knew I meant business.  I not only deserve their respect, I EARNED it.

What is the matter with young ones today?  Where did respect, manners and treating another human the way you would want to be treated go?  I shake my head in wonder.

Week 6

My, how time flies whether one is having fun or not!  I can't believe it has been six weeks since my sister was diagnosed with the dreaded "C" word, and it is truly amazing that we are entering the 6th week of our current college course(s) term.

I have no idea what this week is going to bring, except little sister had her second treatment today.  She seemed a bit wiped out when she got back home.  Next week, she enters the hospital for 2 day stay where she will undergo tests to determine how the massive dose of chemo is affecting her brain.  Yikes!  Sounds scary!!

We are managing, quite well, in keeping the levity level is this household at a maximum.  The laughter that we shared while she was in the hospital the first time is what gave me the idea for the topic of my College Comp II paper: Applied and Therapeutic Humor in Health and Healing.  I never really knew - let alone understood - the benefits the human body derives from humor and laughter until I started doing research on the subject.  Empirical research shows that having and maintaining a sense of humor, or laughing every day gives one's cardiovascular system, respiratory system, and muscles quite a work out.  In addition, it can lower blood pressure, assist the immune system, and can improve pain tolerance.  Amazing, huh?

So ... for the sake of your health, dear readers ... try to find something to laugh about every day.  Your body will thank you for the effort.

The real Week 5

It can't be Week 5 already!  Seems like just a couple of weeks ago this whole ordeal came to a head.  Anywho ...

Little sister had a pretty rough week this week in that she was totally plugged up (because she didn't follow doctor's orders to take a laxative and drink massive amounts of water after her first treatment), and no amount of trying different types of stuff would undo the plug.  She was nauseous and in a great deal of pain in the upper abdominal region (diaphragm).  No amount of advice anyone gave her on how to get things moving would make her listen.  It wasn't until I had to undergo a colonoscopy prep that she finally listened.  She followed the prep I had to do - not to mention she ate food from Micky D's, and voila!  No more tummy ache!! :-)  Which also meant no trip to the hospital for a roto-rooter job.  She is [almost] one happy camper.

This week also brought out a side of her I thought I would never see.  She is starting to become angry with this disease because of the almost constant pain in her hips and legs (cancer is in the bone marrow), the ever present lack of energy, and anger toward herself for being stubborn enough when the symptoms first reared their ugly heads by not going to a doctor.  (Shades of our mother before she was diagnosed with colon cancer.)  She actually starts to cry when she talks of these things.  Oh my God!  She is human after all!!  I feel helpless at times like this because I have no sage words of wisdom for her having never had cancer myself, and she won't let me hug her ... although, she is slowly starting to cave on this one because she knows I am a touchie-feelie person.

She also had tears in her eyes yesterday when she ran her fingers through her hair and a huge clump was in her palm.  Almost three weeks had passed since her first treatment and she still had all of her hair; she thought she was going to be one of the lucky ones who fall into the minority of being able to keep their hair.  My "Cancer Kid" (as she calls herself) is finally realizing that she is mortal after all.  I think that is one reason why she is in such a foul mood today.  To this I say, "About time, little sister."

Week 5 (really week 4)

I noticed while rereading my blog posts that I some how got a week ahead of myself, so I need to fix my error.  The call from the doctor's office to set the appointment for getting the Mayo Clinic results of the biopsies came at the end of Week 2.  Week 4 really should be Week 3.  I hope this doesn't confuse my readers - goodness knows, I'm confused enough these days!  lol

The end of Week 3 had my sister in an uproar - to say the very least.  As I mentioned earlier, her pain was increasing, she was getting angry with herself because she was no longer able to even go to the grocery store without getting extremely exhausted not even half way through her shopping, she did not have enough oomph to play with her grandson (this REALLY bothered her the most), and she was still very upset with the insurance company and the slowness of their decision to approve her PET scan.

Monday, the day of her first treatment, had finally arrived. YIPPEE!!!  I was "volunteered" (and gladly, I might say) to be the chauffeur.  We arrived at the Cancer Clinic a little early because she had to have her blood drawn to see what her white count was.  If the count was too low, she would not be able to under go the treatment.  We held our breath for the good word, which arrived about 10 minutes later (seemed like an eternity).  Another YIPPEE!!!  I wanted to do the "Happy Dance."  We were escorted to an examination room where, once again waiting for the oncologist seemed like an eternity.

My sister's oncologist looks as if he just graduated from high school; what a cutie!!  He should give lessons to grumpy doctors who do not possess very good bedside manners.  After meeting with him, hearing what he had to say about the PET scan results, and his optimism with regard to her treatment for this disease, I feel so much more at ease.  As my professor for Anatomy & Physiology II, Grant Iannelli, told me, "It is not a death sentence.  Once again, I am ready to do the Happy Dance.

Her treatment lasted a little under six (6) hours, and only had one spine- tingling, heart-racing panic incident when the Retuxan (which is very strong Non-Hodgkin lymphoma chemo drug) started closing her airway.  I just learned in A&P II that this is caused when the lymph nodes of the neck swell and squeeze the trachea shut.  All this time, I thought something inside the throat caused the blocking of airways.  Learn something new everyday.  The bad part about her panic attack was the fact that I was not there to come to her aid and comfort because I had left the building to run errands.  I found out via a text message from her. 

The oncologist informed my sister that she would probably lose her hair over the next two (2) weeks, and that she would more than likely experience nausea; none of which has occurred so far ... knock on wood.  And, nothing of else of importance took place this week, so I will leave you gentle people now.

Week 4

The waiting and wondering is over; Monday was the day we, as a family, finally found out what the diagnosis and prognosis was, and what course the treatment plan will take.  I was not able to go with my sister and her husband (and rightly so ... dang it), so I tried to keep busy with entertaining my grandson since he was home from school due to this day being a holiday.  Sitting on pins and needles is not my forte - I don't do it well.  I did not know anything until they finally came home in the early part of the afternoon. 

Her diagnosis is:  Stage IV, Diffuse Large B-Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  She has cancer in the lymph nodes of her neck, abdominal cavity, and bone marrow of her hips and legs.  (My chin drops to the driveway and all sorts of stuff is now going through my head.)  Prognosis:  this cancer is treatable.  Her oncologist has a positive outlook as to her treatment, and did not mention what the chances of survival are for this type of cancer.  She will get bombarded with 4 different types of chemo every 3 weeks for a total of 6 treatments.  Guess I need to break out my knitting needles because she will need a warm hat for her balding head.  :-)

We still don't know know why the biopsies were sent to the May Clinic because little sister forgot to ask, and so did Mr. Little Sister.  She is still treating all of this new information as if she is being told has a hang nail.  She still amazes me.

Once the diagnosis was given, things moved quickly.  Her Mediport was installed in her upper left chest area on Thursday, her PET scan was scheduled for the following week, and treatment was to start the very next Monday after the PET scan.  We got to see up-close-and-personal how an insurance company works because they dragged their feet on approving the PET scan in the first place.  Why did they approve the insertion of the Mediport, but have a problem with the PET scan?  I guess we will never know.

In the meantime, while waiting for the insurance company to get off their behinds, I watched my sister begin to fade as each day passed,  Her pain was increasing, and her energy level was decreasing at a rapid pace.  What bothered me the most is that there was nothing I could do for her, especially since she warned all of us to stop hovering; she was not an invalid.  So much like her father, that one!  Gotta love her.

Now we wait until Monday for the results of the PET and the start of her first treatment so that she can travel the road to recovery.

Week 3

Before going any further, I need to back up to the first week in order to set the stage for this week.  On her last day of her hospital stay, which was October 1, 2010, my sister had a bone marrow biopsy procedure in the morning, and a lymph node removed from her neck in the afternoon. So, this week was all about waiting for the oncologist's office to call with either the results of the biopsies or an appointment to get the results and a treatment plan of action.   

My sister enjoyed being able to stay home this week.  In fact, she felt she was on vacation instead of being unemployed for the first time in umpteen years.  The only time she was agitated was when she was waiting for a return call from the oncologist, which finally arrived on Thursday afternoon.  She was informed that the oncologist was waiting for the results to arrive from the Mayo Clinic, however she was to meet with him the following Monday morning to discuss everything.  So ... waiting and wondering about the biopsies was replaced with waiting and wondering why the biopsies were sent to the Mayo Clinic.    Lions ... and tigers ... and bears!!  Oh My!!!

In the meantime, my soldier nephew - who had not spoken to his mother since the incident between me and his wife and her "hurt" feelings - finally called his mother; under the pretext of wondering why she had a minute negative balance in her checking account (she is on his account at the same bank as her own checking account).  In reality, he didn't call out of concern for his mother; he only called because he and wife ran out of money and needed "borrow" money from his parents to buy either gas or cigarettes.  REALLY NOW!!!

Week 2

Week 2 was uneventful except that my sister did return to her job as a manger for a Big Apple store with a doctor's note in hand as required.  However, a day and a half later management let her go for an incident that had occurred 4 weeks prior.  “Really now!?!” as she would say.  Imagine the devastation and betrayal she must have felt, especially knowing that she gave the company 150%.  She was constantly on-call to the point where she always put aside her own personal life for the sake of this company, and this is how they reward loyalty by letting a recently diagnosed cancer patient go? 

Her world came crashing down around her on this day.  Thoughts of how to help her husband pay the bills and support their only grandchild of whom they have custody, of how to pay the monthly rent to the landlord (me), of how to search for another place to live before my move to Michigan at the beginning of December, and last but certainly not least ... of how to pay for the soon to be massive hospitals bills went swirling through her head.  She crawled into her bed and cried on this day - something my baby sister never does, not even when our mother and her father passed away from their individual battles with cancer.

A couple of weeks have passed since Armageddon.  My sister has decided that there is nothing within her power that she can do to change her financial situation, so she is letting go of the employment past and moving on with doing the best she can do to increase her odds of survival.  Atta girl!  That’s what mom would want you to do!!

Week 1

10/01/2010
I am new at the blog-writing stuff, but I thought I would try my hand at it after trying to deal with a certain person last night regarding a conversation with a newly diagnosed cancer patient, and have this same person not listen to - or honor - the wishes of said cancer patient.   This patient being my youngest sister who is only 47 years of age.

This whole story started a couple of weeks ago when my sister began complaining that her back hurt near the left kidney area.  The pain was to the point that she made an appointment to see a doctor.  My sister went to see a doctor!?!  Lions, and tigers, and bears … oh my!!!!  She does not like doctors.  She avoids doctors and dentists like the plague!  It was then I knew that what ever was bothering her had to be drastic.  Well … the doctor said she could feel my sister’s kidney and spleen – something she should not be able to do.  Fast forward a couple of weeks and take a journey to the emergency room of the local hospital because the pain in her back is excruciating.

This wonderful lady has a strong will – not to mention that she is extremely stubborn and has been since the day she was born.  I marvel at her reaction when she was informed by an ER doc that all of the tests that were run that night pointed to lymphoma, and the pain that she was experiencing was due to the spleen being extremely enlarged to the point that it was pushing on all of the organs (especially the kidney) in that region.  An operation was out of the question because the spleen was too fragile. In my opinion, she treated this piece of news as if she was told she has a hang nail.  Amazing ... simply amazing.  So, admitted to the hospital she was for further tests.

After a tissue biopsy was performed a couple of days after admission to the hospital, my sister was told yesterday that she has Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  It could be worse in that she could have been told it was one of the other two types the doctors thought she might have: sarcoma or melanoma.  Yikes!!  And I thought the sound of colon cancer was awful!!  According to her doctors, better to have this type of cancer than the other two previously mentioned because it is more treatable.  Yeah …but...

 I remember losing a mother to colon cancer at the age of 51, and a step-father (sister’s father) to lung cancer at the age of 65.  I keep thinking, “Did she not hear what the doctors said?”  Right now, God love her, she is barking orders from her hospital bed.  She is demanding without being mean about it, except not demanding when it comes to what her adult children want (so unlike what I think I would do).  Even though she is tired and wants to rest, she will not tell people to go home and let her have some peace.  She will not turn her phone off when she doesn’t feel up to talking to anyone.  She keeps telling everyone that she is fine, and she very well may be even though everyone else is inwardly falling apart.  She is allowing things to take place around her that she would otherwise not tolerate or let slide outside of the walls of the hospital.  Why??  I have to wonder.

Given all of this, why would anyone (who supposedly knows her well) continually ask her if she is going to die?  A question posed to her repeatedly by her son’s wife via a phone call from out of state – even after my sister asked her to stop.  Why would anyone not think a question such as this is pure torture to the newly diagnosed cancer patient?   This same person wants to spend money that she and her soldier do not have right now to hop on a plane – even after being told not to … “not right now … [stay where you are]   I AM FINE!!!”  I can understand where they are coming from in wanting to be with her because I would want to be near my mother too (Oh wait … I was!  I was one of the major caregivers during our mom’s brief 18-month battle with colon cancer).   However, now is not the time to be disrupting anyone’s life, especially that of the cancer patient.  A concept that I nicely tried to point out to my nephew’s wife – honor the wishes of your mother-in-law; keep everything status quo.  She if she doesn’t want you to get on a plane at this point in time – don’t.  If she asks you to stop asking her about whether or not she is dying – do so.

Well, that went over like a lead balloon (I guess I should have had a V-8).  She even had the nerve to bother my nephew while he is on field maneuvers to complain that I was saying mean, hateful things to her via email.  C’mon now.  Asking politely for someone to stop asking, “are you going to die?” because you can see that it is physically upsetting to another individual is mean and hateful?  Not in my book.

Thanks to my nephew’s wife, he no longer wants anything to do with his aunt; I am no longer considered a part of his family.  I refuse to get upset or lose sleep over this type of childish behavior.  After all, I lost a mother - who was also my very best friend - to cancer.  I think I do know what I am talking about.  And, yes, nephew’s wife … I did research what type of cancer my sister has been diagnosed with, and I do know what to expect, and what type of care is required.  Been there...done that ... from the beginning diagnosis, through the chemo and radiation, the loss of hair and appetite, the constant dehydration, and finally the eventual loss of my best friend and mother ...  I do know what cancer does to all involved.  You are not the only one in this world that has been touched by cancer in one form or another!  And you, dear nephew, want to be petty about feelings that may or may not be hurt without the benefit of knowing both sides of the story?  SERIOUSLY!?!

So … readers, I ask for your opinion in this matter.  Should the wishes of my sister be honored?  Does she not have the right to say what happens in her life from this point forward? Or … am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?